I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
