the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
