yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
