meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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