In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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