So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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