Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
