he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
