my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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