Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
