yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
