So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
