I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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