There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
