I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
