we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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