ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
As shirtless as possible
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
