HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10