It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize