OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I could make wine with my vomit
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT