only if we run a train.
done.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
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How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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