How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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