We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We need to get me chipped asap
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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