Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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