I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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