And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
