Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
