I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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