that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
