There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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