physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
