Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
