he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
