Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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