well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
