Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
