after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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