so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
