The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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