Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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