you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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