I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
