I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
