Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
