I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
