i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
