found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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