it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
