How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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