I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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