brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
