I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
