Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
