I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
