is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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