i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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