you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
