it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
