It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just gift wrapped bread.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
