hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
