Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
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i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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