id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
