Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
