I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
